Justin's

Autumn Rose-Sarah Leonard.

You are the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

I swear before God and before our community assembled here:

As long as I have breath in my lungs

I will love and respect you and care for you

I’ll be faithful to you. I will be honest with you.

I’ll respect the boundaries we set for each other. I will make sure that we always have an extra bedroom or at least a couch where one of us can sleep. And I won’t force you to come to bed when I do.

I promise to have my own life, and encourage you to do the same.

I will honor and nurse this thing that we’re building together, and remember that it’s more real and important, and it needs just as much effort and care, as everything else in my life--including the work I’m called to do.

I will give you lots of positive reinforcement.

I will take care of my mind and body, recognizing that you now have a vested interest in both.

I will help you when you ask for it, and let you do your thing when you don’t.

I will always give you the benefit of the doubt.

I will remember that life is an adventure, and I promise to never stop having adventures with you. In bed and out.

I’ll remember that I’m the one who likes ice cream with all the chunks and chocolatey stuff, and if I convince myself that you like those things, that’s called projection.

I’ll write out what we’re talking about beforehand--and stick to the time limit we’ve agreed on.

I will kick you in the ass when your ass needs kicking. But I’ll remember—I’ll even remind you—that you are not the Buddha.

I promise I’ll be willing to spend good money on things that are important, and I won’t spend good money on things that aren’t. And I’ll be honest with you about finances, even when it’s hard.

I embrace all the colors of your heritage. Together, we will build a home that is spiritually rich, reverent and irreverent by turns, and open to truth in its many forms. I will never ask you to leave behind any piece of who you are or where you come from.

I will keep making art with you and around you and about you.

I will not insist that we live in a place with lots of mountains and no black people.

I’ll ask for what I need, but understand it if sometimes you can’t give it to me.

I will back you to the ends of the earth, and never undermine you.

I will do it with you.

I will keep reading you books out loud.

I’ll handle the spiders.

I’ll put some flat before the uphill whenever possible.

I will go at your pace (as long as I can keep up). And. I’ll remember that we might not get there the way I thought we would--but we’ll get there in the end.

I’ll keep taking walks with you as long as I can walk. After that, I’ll roll.

I will try not to confuse those things that need to happen with those things I’d like to happen.

I will remember that every day with you is a blessing and a gift. And I will never take you for granted.

I will help you take over the world.

Autumn Rose-Sarah Leonard, I love you, and with every fiber of my being, I will do my best to keep these vows I’m making to you today. As long as we both live on God’s green earth.

Autumn's

None of which you are about to hear means anything.

Please ignore everything I'm about to say.

There are the easy things to promise:

That our lives together will constitute an adventure of the highest order.

Per your instructions, that I will always do that which I love.

That I will always read you books.

That we will take long ambling walks together for as long as we're both able to walk.

That wonderful things like Abzug will continue to appear in your life.

That I'll eat a little bit of you each year, and offer a piece of myself up for your consumption.

And that I will always, always keep one eye open for snakes.

Then there are the harder things, the things that make my stomach tighten with the quivering expectation that eventually I will fail you. That at some point I won't be patient, or respectful, and that I will wait till the last minute to complete a task, knowing how much that drives you crazy.

But I'm going to stand here and promise to try anyway, not because you're the most fabulous person I've ever met, not because you're strong, or wise, or patient, or know the names of many trees and wildflowers, or that you have so often helped me laugh through my tears; but because you believe whole heartedly in the importance of creating a life together with me. We have decided together to always make a priority of us, a singular duo.

So I promise to be patient; to be respectful, to be mindful of your fears and my fears and find mutually beneficial ways to operate the machinery of our lives; that I will hold you to your highest aspirations and dreams, and give you a break when you need one; that I will never let money push us apart, that I will always contribute equally to the shared project that is us, each according to their abilities; that I will always ask for help when I need it; that I will always give you a second chance.

And most of all I will keep in mind that what we're building together is sacred, each and everyday.

But none of what I've just said will make a difference in your life. In fact, if forced to recall tomorrow, you may not be able to remember all the promises made here today off the top of your head, and nor should you!   What will make a difference, in your thinking, working and living, are my actions—everyday for the rest of my life—so please forget everything that I've just said, and concentrate on what I do.